crashmebabyonemoretime

I swear my dream monday night was refreshingly weird. let's just say there was a lynch mob marching toward me and I decided to run at them head on. I was tired of walking away and having people sneer. I just wanted a piece of whatever fate was to become me whilst clawing at a few arteries of the throat on the way down. yes- sometimes I'm a bastard that way in my dreams.

but right as I made it halfway to the angry crowd with the swaying torches in hand and fire in their eyeballs, something peculiar happened: a transformation. that is, they all turned into geeks in a marching band. there were horns and drums and flutes and a few wands. hell, I even had a wand in my hand and instead of being strung up and beated I was assimilated into the group as some sort of band leader. a marching band leader.

so we marched onward. onward to the party I had been chased from. the party I had gained infamous status while attending. forming quickly on my excited lips was the cheer I would lead for a hundred paces: "the nerds always win! the nerds always win! the nerds always win! the nerds always win!". we were almost to the party when I awoke. I had been exhonerated by the people I respect most. the nerds always win, indeed.

so I was hanging out with bandmates tim and p tonight. ben couldn't rehearse because he's at outdoor school. he's a teacher of 6th graders, you know. which served as a pleasant reminder: outdoor school is the site of my worst bed wettery ever. I didn't check 'bed wetter' on the form before going to outdoor school because I didn't want one of those embarrassing plastic crinkly mattress covers on my bunk. everyone would sort of know I was a bed wetter when they saw the plastic crinkly mattress cover. so instead, I left it up to them to determine whether or not I was a bed wetter through the objective deductions regarding floating stenches of finely aged urine in my bedding----yes urine, making it's way to the heart of the mattress where it evaporates in shades of tan. of course, they may have suspected my bunk partner was the bed wetter...

thusly, I avoided the crinkly shifting of plastic mattress covers. curiously, I quit wetting the bed for good a couple months later. and my bladder has been quite healthy ever since. but someday, when I have become old enough to remember life before the internet, I may begin wetting the bed again. but not for sport. nor to stay warm in a drifty old house. I'll wet the bed just because---that's what some old people do. so I have to ask...do they make adult diapers in pink?